How to Cope with Cravings

I’ve been running a bit rough lately, which in alcoholic parlance means, ‘I want a drink’. I could, of course, have a drink. But as a veteran alcoholic in recovery, I know what comes next, and would have to accept the consequences of my decision. Bitter experience, repeated time and time again, tells me one, stark and painful thing: the consequences are, by and large, disastrous. Something bad, often very bad, nearly always happens. I think I got away with it once, ‘got away with it’ meaning the couple of bottles of wine I drank didn’t turn into twenty, and my behaviour (for once) didn’t resemble that of King Kong unleashed on a blend of high-octane rum, steroids and PCP.

I make light of here, because I’m sober and all that was in the past, but needless to say a relapse is never a pretty thing and can, at its worst, prove fatal. But nonetheless, I’m running rough now and feel inclined to drink. So what am I going to do about it, and how can my experience help you, if you’re going through the same thing, or feel you will at some point? Because, sad to say, for any recovering addict, the cravings? They will almost certainly come at some point.

So here’s what I know:

1: It will pass. This is probably the most important thing to remember when you’re struggling with cravings and/or a strong general desire to pick up an alcoholic beverage, even when you know it’s not good for you. Now it’s important to note here, that I’m assuming you’re already in some form of recovery. If you’ve been drinking heavily and have suddenly decided to stop, which I don’t recommend, then please consider seeking medical help at this stage. Stopping drinking abruptly when you’re heavily dependant on alcohol (or any opiate-based drug or benzodiazepines, amongst others), can send your body into shock and is very dangerous. At best you’re going to experience severe withdrawal symptoms, which are almost impossible to cope with, or worse, you can suffer dangerous seizures, delirium tremens, psychosis, and even death. Either reconsider your decision to stop abruptly and practice a scaled withdrawal of drinking less and less each day, or better still go to your doctor or nearest Emergency Room. Call an ambulance even. Alcohol withdrawal is not a thing to take lightly and your life may be at risk.

However, assuming you’ve been sober for a while now, it could be a day it could be five years, it is important to remember that acute — ‘I need a drink now!’ — kind of cravings, will pass within a timeframe of 15–45 minutes, give or take. It is biologically ordered that the feelings and conditions we experience cannot last forever. In the same way that a nasty cold will only last for 7–10 days, the same for your acute cravings, but mercifully not days, but minutes. That’s not to say they won’t re-occur, they probably will, but they will burn out and you’ll feel more relaxed. Bear this is mind when you feel like a drink: it won’t last.

2. Do something. Anything but pick up a drink. In all seriousness, distraction can and will work wonders when the acute cravings kick in. Going for a brisk walk, preferably one that doesn’t take you past a pub or liquor store, is a great way of burning off the nervous tension you’re probably feeling. Having a drink of something harmless, like herbal tea or sparkling water, can supply you with the habitual need to pick up a drink without bringing your world crashing down around you. Treat yourself if able, buy yourself a fancy soft drink that you enjoy, or — and I’ll probably get into trouble for this — a bar of your favourite chocolate. And yes, I know comfort eating isn’t ideal, but it’s hella better than downing a bottle of vodka and ending up God knows where, 24 hours later. Hospital, a police cell, the morgue. I’m not kidding. Otherwise, meditation, a swim if able, a punchbag (really useful), as many press-ups as you can manage without having a cardiac arrest, write your feelings down, submit an article to Medium (which is exactly the distraction I’m practicing now), have a lovely bath with smelling salts, anything to distract yourself in a pleasant and broadly productive way.

3: Call someone. Probably comes under the ‘Do something’ category above, but is an extra reach for a lot of people (including me). I understand, believe me, and it’s something I’m still working on. But nonetheless the advice is sound. If you have a sponsor or a mentor, they’re probably your first port in a storm, otherwise someone you trust. Tell them frankly what’s happening, how you’re feeling and can they just listen for a while. They may not have advice ready to hand, doesn’t matter, just a ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on, is what you need right now. Of course, if you’re a 12 Step person, get yourself to the nearest and next meeting available.

4: Have a think. Without ruminating on it too much, consider why it is that you’re suddenly feeling like this. Cravings are often triggered by an event of some kind, often involving an emotional set back, or even seeing someone else enjoying a cold beer in the sunshine. Again, don’t dwell on it in a morbid fashion, but explaining to yourself why this is happening can sometimes cause the feelings to retreat a little.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, this:

5: Be kind to yourself. Remember that cravings are a perfectly normal part of recovery, a powerful blend of biology and emotions that can trip up even the sturdiest veteran of recovery. You are not to blame, and there is no reason to allow feelings of guilt, shame and self-loathing — those insidious old foes— to take hold of you again. They are not you, and you are not your thoughts. The essential self, the person you really are is still there and cannot be removed. We forget to talk to her or him sometimes, lose the connection, but that’s all that’s happening. Remember that you’re strong, you’re loved, that you can do this, and that there are brighter times ahead. If you’re immersed in the 12 Steps, then you already know God, as you understand Him, is with you every step of the way. Hold onto Him, and hold onto yourself. This will pass.

I hope these thoughts and practical steps are of use to someone struggling with cravings, and that they help. And please know, that in the act of writing, being read, and reaching out to others, you’ve helped me too.

Nick Jordan

Photo by George Becker from Pexels